The Bell: Bridging divides – practical steps for a more connected world

How do we as a society break free from the devastating practice of demonizing ‘those others’ that we can easily judge as wrong or even evil?

Is it even possible to shift our tendency toward binary thinking that identifies people’s behaviour with their worth? How do we begin to view others beyond their opinions and behaviour¹ – even those we vehemently disagree with – as humans with infinite worth and dignity?  

As I awaken to my own capacity for evil, my commitment not just to tolerate, but to embrace the one with whom I disagree – which I wrote about in the article Demons and Angels – I offer some practical ways I’m leaning into practices that enable me to better foster understanding, reduce polarization and build bridges.

1. Curate ‘safe enough’ conversations

One of the most powerful ways to bridge divides is to create spaces for ‘safe enough’ conversations. Often, people avoid difficult topics, fearing emotional turmoil and ugly conflict. Safe enough spaces are environments where people with differing viewpoints can engage in dialogue without fear of hostility or judgment. The goal isn’t to force agreement but to encourage mutual understanding.

To do this effectively:

• Establish ground rules for respect and listening.
• Emphasize the importance of curiosity over judgment.
• Choose neutral facilitators who can guide discussions constructively.

There are a number of organizations and practitioners who specialize in facilitating these kinds of dialogues. Consider participating in such spaces as a way to break down stereotypes and humanize ‘the other side.’

2. Assume people are ‘doing the best they can’

Brené Brown, in her book Rising Strong, suggests adopting the mindset that people are doing the best they can with the tools and knowledge they have. While this mindset may not come naturally, it shifts the focus from judgment to empathy. Instead of assuming bad intentions, consider what challenges, fears or experiences might have shaped the other person’s views.

For example, if a colleague voices a perspective you strongly disagree with, remind yourself: “This person is trying to navigate life with the same human limitations as me.”

This simple shift in mindset can open the door to compassionate engagement. For instance, imagine a parent struggling to balance work and family life making a decision you don’t agree with. Could they be acting out of stress rather than malice?

3. Cultivate curiosity

When confronted with someone whose views seem baffling or offensive, resist the urge to shut down. Instead, lean into curiosity.

Ask questions like:

• “What experiences have shaped your perspective?”
• “Can you help me understand how you arrived at that belief?”
• “What values are important to you in this discussion?”

Approaching disagreements with genuine curiosity not only diffuses tension but often reveals common ground. It’s also an opportunity to learn and grow, even if you don’t end up agreeing and also helps you feel less defensive and more open in the conversation.

4. Challenge the ‘story you’re telling yourself’

Another concept from Brené Brown is to examine “the story I am telling myself.” Often, we fill in gaps in our understanding with assumptions about others’ motives or character. For instance, if someone cuts you off in traffic, you might think, “They’re selfish and inconsiderate,” rather than considering they might be rushing to an emergency.

When you catch yourself demonizing someone, pause and reflect: “What story am I telling myself about this person? What evidence do I have, and what might I be missing? Why is this causing such a strong reaction in me?” This exercise can help you see others in a more nuanced light.

5. Seek shared goals

Despite deep divisions, most people share common aspirations: safety, happiness, opportunity and love for their families. Focusing on shared goals can help transcend differences. For example, in schools, parents with differing political views often come together to advocate for their children’s safety and education. Identifying shared values can pave the way for collaborative solutions.

6. Practice active listening

Active listening is a skill that involves fully concentrating on what the other person is saying, without planning your response or interrupting. When you feel the need to interrupt, take a deep breath and remind yourself that listening is a form of respect. It’s about seeking to understand, not to rebut.

To practice active listening:

• Maintain eye contact and open body language.
• Paraphrase what the other person says to confirm understanding (e.g., “What I hear you saying is . . .”).
• Avoid interrupting or immediately countering their points.

Active listening fosters empathy and respect and demonstrates a willingness to engage constructively.

7. Build relationships across divides

It’s much harder to demonize someone you know personally. Building relationships with people from different backgrounds or perspectives can challenge stereotypes and foster empathy. Consider taking an inventory of who you connect with; are there people who have significantly divergent perspectives on matters important to you in your circles?

Look for opportunities to connect with others through a faith community, local events, volunteer work or shared hobbies. Even small acts of reaching out can make a big difference.

8. Engage with diverse media

Our media consumption plays a significant role in shaping our perceptions. Seek out news sources and commentators from across the ideological spectrum. While you may not agree with everything you encounter, exposing yourself to different viewpoints can broaden your understanding and reduce the echo chamber effect.

9. Practice humility

No one has all the answers, and everyone has blind spots. As author Anaïs Nin said, “We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are.” Recognizing our own biases fosters humility.

Approaching conversations with humility means acknowledging that your perspective is not the only valid one. Be open to the possibility that you might learn something new or even change your mind. This doesn’t mean abandoning your values but rather holding them with an openness to growth.

Overcoming polarization and the demonization of others is no small task, but it is possible. By curating safe spaces for dialogue, practicing empathy and curiosity, and focusing on shared goals, we can begin to mend the divides that separate us.

The journey starts with each of us choosing to see the humanity in those we disagree with and committing to build bridges instead of walls. The world needs more peacemakers – why not let it start with you?